Typical

The rules of blogging clearly state that if you shoot off your mouth about allergy-related frustrations, the next day you will be nominated for a food allergy blogging award that requires voting, thus bringing you confused visitors from nice, normal food allergy blogs.  Duly noted. 


And, of course, thank you very much for the nomination, Circle of Moms.  They're encouraging me to dust off my Twitter account and/or reveal my blogging identity to all of my high school friends on Facebook to drum up votes, which No Thank You.  But I will tell you all about it because you are just that lucky.  Let's see if we can get into the double digits!

I know not all of you are here for food allergy-related reasons, but I have to brag about some of my fellow nominees:
Maggie at Dog Hill Kitchen is one of the most impressive cooks ever, and her husband is a wonderful illustrator, which, how cool is that?
Kelly at Food Allergy Mama makes such great, family-friendly baked goods, you will like them whether you have allergies or not.  She has five kids; she knows what she's talking about.  We use her cookbook all the time.
Janeen at Our Story is one of my oldest and dearest friends living in my computer, and she helps me find good venison recipes.
Gina at Allergy Moms is a force to be reckoned with, not to mention the author of the only kids' food allergy book I really like.  (I cry every. time.)

So it really is an honor to have my little half-pineholed blog included with theirs. 

***

In answer to Misty's question, yes, we are extra careful with the dairy we keep in the house.  We don't use dairy in cast iron or on wooden cutting boards--anything that might absorb it and be hard to clean.  I use an old box grater to grate cheese, not the food processor.  Katherine's chores do not include doing dishes, just in case she might come in contact with something.  We keep most of the dairy in the cheese drawer in the fridge.  The middle kids know to wipe their hands after school and after eating anything dairy.  And we go through a forest's worth of paper goods every week wiping down the counters, table, hands, etc., instead of using cloths that might spread dairy around.

I'm the cream of the crop/I rise to the top

I have my first cold and sore throat of the season and will now treat you to a cold-medication induced blog post.  At least I finally learned (at thirty-seven) to stock up on cold meds *before* anyone got sick.
Yes, my birthday was last month.  The day was a comedy of errors, culminating in Graham pulling over the table that Kevin the parakeet's cage sits on.  Kevin now has a nice hook to hang from by the window.

As we stared at the bird seed and poo scattered all over our dining room floor, Scott declared a Saturday birthday do-over, which didn't work either.  Scott: "OK, so when we do your birthday again on SUNDAY..."  Me: "How many birthdays do I get?"  Scott, grimly: "As many as it takes."

This is the same man who convinced our children that "Jump Around" is Mommy's favorite song and that I want it to be the ring tone on my phone.*  Yet he doesn't see the humor when I call the baby 'Graham Master Flash.' Weird. 

Y'know, three of my four children can eat dairy.  Sometimes, I cook with dairy.  And sometimes, I link to a recipe and don't feel the need to explain the dairy-free substitutions to someone who doesn't need to know them.  I KNOW.  It's CRAZY.  I should ALWAYS be dairy free!  It's right there in my name!  I should change the post title to "I'm the [dairy-free] cream of the crop!"  It's false advertising!  What about my BRAND?

I have been drinking the couponing Kool-Aid.  Yesterday I bought 3 gallons of soymilk for $9!  But I'm still going to give the younger children dairy milk!  Because I am EEVIL.



*All because I sarcastically replied, "Jump around!" when he told me something not very exciting. I'm a treasure.

Facepalm

I...just realized that almost none of the comments I've been leaving on blogs for the past few weeks have shown up because I was being prompted to sign in *after* commenting and didn't realize it.  Der.

So, to sum up: your vlogs are lovely, your news is so exciting, your recipes are delicious, your hair looks great, and I hear ya.

Also, thank you for all of the book recommendations.  My wish list is now very long.

Correspondence

Dear Fourth Grade Spelling/Vocabulary Book,

When you ask "What is the opposite of coffee?" the correct answer is not "Tea."  That makes no sense and brings up all of my Alanis Morissette irony issues. 

Signed,
The Black Fly in Your Chardonnay


Dear PA,

When you have to step in at my child's checkup because the pediatrician had an emergency, kindly do not recommend an unnecessary invasive medical procedure.  It makes me angry and my child hysterical.

Signed,
Tiger/Bear/Some Sort of Large Mammal Mom


Dear Pediatrician's Office/Pediatrician,

Thank you for not charging me a co-pay for our follow-up appointment.  And thank you for listening to our concerns and agreeing that the PA was wrong.  Now, go lecture her.

Signed,
Relieved Mother


Dear Kindergartner,

I am so glad you love school and are doing well.  But this morning when you said, "You can stop here, Mama," and walked up the school sidewalk by yourself, my heart broke a little.

Signed,
I'm Not Crying, It's Just Allergies

P.S. I still stood there and watched you walk in.  It's a free country.

I am stealing this idea

Graham's neighborhood party was rained out.  Twice.  So he just received his presents.  What did our neighbors buy the boy who has enough hand-me-down toys, strollers, and clothes to last a lifetime?  A gift certificate to our favorite pizza place for him to share with his family!  (Yes, they chose the place that makes dairy-free pizza.)

Isn't that a great idea?!  I am totally stealing it for first birthdays--whether the child has a lot of siblings or not.  Who doesn't appreciate a free meal?  Who doesn't miss the newborn days--at least the part where you get meals dropped off all the time?

Now, let's see how long I can hold off using it....

Yeah

I've been away so long I have to learn a new Blogger system!  Awesome.

I have a ten-year old and a one-year old.  *sob*

If you want a good birthday party idea for a ten-year old girl, search on Ebay for one of the American Girl mystery games that have been discontinued.  Mine was in a damaged box, so I got the game and a book for $20.  The girls loved it.  Loved it!  We did a Kit mystery and made the banana cake from Kit's cookbook.  They all dressed in character and really got into their parts.  It was hysterical.

Graham's party got rained out twice, so he had to make do with a cupcake and a new ride-on push car.  I think he's OK with it.

The principal at K's school has been using K. and me as examples of a child and parent who handle food allergies well and don't make unreasonable demands.  Uh, thanks?  I can't wait for the other families to find where we live and egg our house.  Or, God forbid, cheese our house.

I was just telling Alisa that with a Kindergartner and a preschooler in the house, I now have four hours a week with just one child.  I'll set my goals low: one blog post a month?  :)  Seriously, I don't know how you all do it.  You rock.

What I ate this summer*

*That was sent to me to try.

Kelapo Coconut Oil

We never had coconut oil before, except for the scary yellow-colored popcorn flavoring kind. And now we are hooked. HOOOOKED. Love the flavor, love the texture, love. We are using it a lot, especially in baking. And, yes, on popcorn. But it doesn't turn the popcorn unnaturally yellow! Score.

Enjoy Life Foods Double Chocolate Crunch Granola

Our family polished this off in one sitting. Granted, that's six people, but still. Chocolate granola with mini chocolate chips in it? Excellent. (I thought it maybe needed a touch more salt, but no one else was bothered by this.)

Enjoy Life Foods Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chunks

The package says something about these chocolate chunks being good "just for snacking!" Hahahah! *cough* Yeah, I totally ate them straight from the bag. These are perfect for making dairy-free s'mores, among other things, because they are flat on one side and don't roll around on the graham cracker like dairy-free chocolate chips.

Enjoy Life Foods Crunchy Cookies: Vanilla Graham, Sugar Crisp, Double Chocolate Chip, and Chocolate Chip

We loved these--liked them even better than Enjoy Life Foods soft cookies. The kids really liked the Vanilla Honey Graham cookies and I liked the Chocolate Chip the best. They were all good, though, and made delicious homemade dairy-free ice cream sandwiches. Mmmm....

Chicken Surprise

It's VBS week, which means I'm too tired to shop. What's for dinner?

Chicken Surprise

2 cups leftover shredded beer butt chicken

2 slightly overripe tomatoes, seeded and diced

1 package dairy-free shiitake mushroom gravy*, prepared, and mixed with

1/4 c. mayonnaise

4 cups cornbread stuffing mix, prepared with water

Layer in a greased casserole dish:
chicken

tomatoes

gravy

stuffing

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Serve with salad and homemade Thousand Island dressing.

*Or one can of condensed cream of mushroom soup

Hey Howdy Hey

Katherine's field trips went fine. She was almost given a snack with white chocolate in it at her school's field day, but she caught it. I love that girl. She and her best friend just got their ears pierced and look entirely too grown up.

Potty Training 2011 is almost 100% done, thank goodness. Nik-Nak asked for potty training advice. HAHAHAHAH. The best advice I have is throw everything at it and see what works. Reward chart, big gift at the end, jelly beans every time you go, wearing underwear, going commando around the house--we've done it all, and it's been a different technique that's worked with each kid. That, and it seems as if I have to totally lose my Dr. Sears zen attitude and declare that we're going back to diapers. Magically, they get it only after I've passed that point.

Uh, you think I'd have more news. Our veggies are growing, the baby is crawling and teething, Eli is reading (Reading!), we've been on our first trip of the summer, Scott replaced the playhouse roof that the birds pecked holes in (Try pecking a hole in plywood, you stupid wrens!), and I'm happy to have everyone home from school. Yay, summer.

Chicken and Asparagus Lemon Pasta

In a large crockpot, put two sliced onions and three lemon halves, seeds removed. Place a whole chicken on top, seasoned inside and out with whatever you like. I used Jane's Krazy Mixed Up Salt. Add a cup of chicken broth and/or white wine. Cook until the chicken is done. (I used a mostly-frozen chicken and cooked it on high all day.) Remove the chicken and let it cool on a cutting board. Strain the broth and return it to the crockpot. Squeeze the lemon pulp into the broth. Add raw asparagus, broken into one-inch pieces. Cook in the broth until tender. Shred the chicken. Add half to the crockpot and save half for another meal. Add 3/4 lb. cooked pasta (I used bowties.) Stir and heat through. Taste for salt.

Rapturous

We spent a portion of yesterday evening in the basement avoiding tornadoes.

My mom and I are going to a canning workshop Thursday evening. Mom: "Comes the revolution, we'll be ready." She cracks me up.

The high school is discontinuing the school paper, so the current editor asked former editors to write about what the paper means to them. I *may* have gone a tiny bit off the rails and talked about the importance of keeping the newspaper going--with or without school funding. Heh.

I am letting K. go on her field trip without me. I am nervous. She will be in a group with her teacher, who is well-versed in Epipens. I will load her up with a million wipes, meds, her own food, etc. And pray.

I think we are seeing the light at the end of the potty-training tunnel. We're bidding on used Leapster 2s on Ebay trying to get one for a reward/toy for summer travel. Is it a much bigger present than the older siblings earned? Yes. Do we care? No. Desperate times, people. Desperate times.

Honor thy mother

Nowheymama: Mom, we saw a really interesting documentary the other night.

Nowheymama's Mom: Really?

Nowheymama: Yeah! The whole way through it made me think of you. I kept thinking, "This movie just says 'Mom' to me!"

Nowheymama's Mom: Wow! What's it called?

Nowheymama: Uh... It's called 'Fat Head.'

Nowheymama's Mom: Nice. Just what every mother wants to hear.

Cookies, Roku, Asparagus

USAToday is featuring Mother's Day recipes this weekend, and the winning recipe is for dairy-free cookies, Delaware Cry Babies! You know I am making these molasses cookies this weekend. Or having my family bake them for me. *cough*

We've decided to cancel our cable and get rid of our 'land line.' (It's provided through our cable.) We drove to Bigger City last night to buy a Roku and to switch our home phone number to my cell phone. (And to eat at our favorite Chinese buffet.) I've been hesitant because cell reception in our house isn't great, but I'm ready to give it a try. As for TV, we have Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and we're thinking about getting a digital antenna. I think we'll have plenty to watch.

I planted asparagus two springs in a row, and...nothing. Imagine my surprise when I found a few sprouts in the garden yesterday! Plants that grow with no attention from me? Priceless.

Onward

Today was the last day of preschool. I managed not to cry during the cute little ceremony, mainly because the college president called my son "Ellie H_______."

So now summer begins for the littlest ones, and I am starting to collect (free) ways to spend the time, especially when it is raining and 40 degrees. Here's what I've found so far.

Barnes and Noble has a summer reading program for kids in first through sixth grade, where you can earn a free book and be entered in a drawing for a Nook. Borders has one, too, for kids twelve and under.

Scholastic has a Summer Reading Challenge.

We'll be doing our local library's summer reading program, too, of course.

PNC's Grow Up Great program has fun Sesame Street activities to download. You can call and request free items, too.

If you have Dolly Parton's Imagination Library in your area, SIGN UP. Kids receive one free book a month from birth to age 5.

And of course we'll be playing Chore Wars.

That's all I've got. Help?

Edit: Misty mentioned crafts. FamilyFun is always good for ideas, and Swistle just posted about craft gifts at Milk and Cookies.

An Anglophile is Born

"Helen, that's the princess."
"Who's that boy in the red?"

"That's the prince."

"Oooh. I like him."

That's my girl.

Kindergarten registration packet

Dear Parents:

Please bring the following to Kindergarten registration:

• Completed Student Health History form
• Proof of dental examination and
• Proof of physical examination because we don't believe the Student Health History form you filled out, and why don't you throw in a
• Record of immunizations for good measure
• State-issued birth certificate, not that cutesy hospital thing with the footprints that is clearly a fake
• TWO proofs of residency, such as two utility bills, even though all utilities are paid to the city in one bill; your mortgage, even though you don't want to bring it because it's none of our business; phone bill, but not a wireless bill, even though many people no longer have land lines; TV bill, but it has to be cable, not dish; oh, and your driver's license doesn't count.
• DNA samples from you, your spouse, and child
• Knife to cut your finger to sign paperwork in blood
• Flask to get through the day

We look forward to meeting you and your child. Except if you are late. Then you're out of luck.

Sincerely,

The Kindergarten Team

The blogs have ears

In the middle of a LONG day of vision testing (Fun!) yesterday, the three youngest kids and I were forced to spend money I don't have on lunch. We had two restaurant choices, and we went with our beloved Eat n' Park, which is a local chain that is very supportive of the food allergic. (Hello, Silk soymilk on the menu! A separate gluten-free menu!) Awhile ago, I wrote that I wished they had a free treat for kids who can't enjoy their famous smiley face cookies. Did someone hear me? Because thanks to their new LifeSmiles program, they do! Kids can choose either a regular smiley cookie, a mini smiley cookie, or an apple. Is an apple as fun as a cookie? No, but it's WAY better than walking away empty handed while your brother and sister chomp on cookies.

Reading the menu while trying to nurse covertly in public, I also learned that they have a FarmSource program, where they buy their produce from local suppliers. Love.

Thank you, Eat n' Park. We'll try to visit more than once every six months.

Recipe and a Coupon

I made four-ingredient Fast and Friendly Meatballs last night, using ground beef instead of turkey because that's what I had, and Progresso Italian Panko Breadcrumbs. Dairy-free Italian breadcrumbs! They do exist! And they are good. Here's a link to a coupon for $1 off if you want to try them.*

Usually I make turkey sausage meatballs by rolling the sausage into balls and browning them. This recipe doesn't splatter the stovetop like the sausage ones do, and my kids like it better. We have a winner. If you want a dairy- and egg-free meatballs, check out Kelly's recipe.

*Why, yes, the coupon link above does go through the blog of one of TLC's Extreme Couponers. Shut up. Hoarders inspired me to clean my basement, and Extreme Couponing is making me take a second look at couponing. Now, if I start telling Scott to get some more wives, then we have a problem.

Ack

The other night, all of the kids were on our bed. Katherine was reading the bedtime story, Eli and Helen were listening, and the baby was kicking and grinning and trying to eat his sister's foot. Later on, Scott said, "I was looking at all of them on our bed thinking, 'Wow. We have four kids.'"

It's been that kind of a week. Usually things cycle around so that one person is in the parental spotlight. As my friend, also a mother of four, says, "I can only worry about one of them at a time."

This week has been about trying to focus on everyone at once. Orthodontist! Optometrist! Vision therapist! School registrations! Star of the Week! Field trips! Food allergy issues! Teething! Colds! Sleepless nights! Insurance! Finances! Prescriptions! Phone calls to doctors' offices! Swing low, sweet chariot! (TM Tess)

It's the business side of parenting that throws me sometimes. The feeling that I'm the president and secretary of a small, poor, slightly dingy workplace with untrained, underage employees. But I imagine this part of the mothering job will only increase, so I'd better get used to it.

Time to make some phone calls....

Updates

I'm making Mary Ostyn's Doro Wat (Ethiopian Chicken Stew) via Crockpot 365 for dinner tonight. Hopefully the hard-boiled eggs will sell the kids on it.

I cut Eli's hair! I even used two different clipper guards! And it looks decent! No, he would not let me get a photo!

Thank you so much for all of your haircutting tips; watching YouTube videos was critical to my success. I feel so empowered! Now if my own bangs would just hurry up and grow so I can stop holding them back with clips. I look like Elisabeth Shue in that movie about the autistic sister.

Image from jinni.com

All of this snow/rain/freeze/thaw mess is making everyone's roofs leak. Ours is leaking into Katherine's newly-painted room (NOOO!) and down a chimney into our linen closet. Nothing says fun like two tons of wet, moldy linens.

Eli had to take a sign of spring to school today. HAHAHAHA. Scott: "What did you send? Bird poop?" I sent a branch with very confused buds, thank you very much.

My parents lent me a copy of The Lincoln Lawyer. Where can I hide to read all weekend?

Things I've Tried Lately

It's time for an edition of Things I've Tried Lately That Were Sent to Me But I Was Not Paid to Review, not to be confused with Uncompensated FTLOG.

Enjoy Life Soft Baked Cookies

We received Enjoy Life's new and improved Soft Baked Cookies in Snickerdoodle, Double Chocolate Brownie, and Lively Lemon. I took them to a Super Bowl party where there was a gluten-sensitive college student and my dairy-allergic daughter. The college student loved the Double Chocolate Brownie cookies and said they were a real treat. Katherine liked the Snickerdoodles best, which surprised me. I would have guessed she'd pick the chocolate ones. We sent some Double Chocolate Brownie and Snickerdoodle cookies home with the college student. The Lively Lemon cookies were untouched, so Scott and I ate them in the following week. We loved them. There are little crunchy lemon bits in them that have a great texture and flavor.

The cookies were well-received, but aren't something that fit in our budget. I might buy them for a situation like the party where I want people who have allergies/intolerances to feel secure about what they are eating.

No Whey! Chocolates

Chocolate? Good.

Company Name? Good.

Variety? Good.

Dairy-allergic child's happiness level? Through the roof.

No Whey! Chocolates is a great small chocolate company featuring dairy-free chocolates. They also have gluten-free and soy-free candies. They are currently featuring some super cute Easter candies that are perfect for Easter baskets. We loved trying their chocolates.

This review was written for Go Dairy Free.

Gardein Garden Protein

We tried their Chick'n Scallopini, Beefless Tips, Buffalo Wings, Chick'n Good Stuff, and Crispy Tenders. The kids liked the tenders and the Good Stuff, which is like a stuffed chicken breast. Scott and I liked the Buffalo Wings and Scallopini, but none of us cared for the Beefless Tips. I might buy the Chick'n Good Stuff sometime because it is like Chicken Kiev or Chicken Cordon Bleu, two dishes that are hard to make dairy free.

This review was written for Go Dairy Free.