Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Mom always says don't play ball in the house

Look, I know I'm turning into Go Dairy Free: The Direct-To-Video Sequel over here, but you need to enter the Spring Fling Recipe Contest. Then remember I'm the one who encouraged you to enter when you win the $1000 gift card. Also here is a nifty link to all the recipes and stuff I've written over there.

We're all feeling a little cooped up right now, what with endless rain coming on the heels of the endless snow. But I hear summer's going to be very hot AND rainy, so we have that going for us. A certain three-year old just punted a basketball past my head even though he knows NOT TO PLAY BALL IN THE HOUSE. I keep reminding myself that soon I will be missing him when he's away at school and not asking for yots of cheese for yunch and telling me we're a good team before taking out my lamp with a well-aimed kick.

Even my daughter's pet bird, Hedwig, has cabin fever. If you want to get rich quick, you should start manufacturing bird toys. Two pony beads, a Chinese handcuff and a foam star on a piece of plastic lanyard lacing cord. That'll be $10.

Images from Amazon

Tomorrow is May Day! Which hopefully means sun and warmth, in addition to 5 billion end-of-the year activities that make me cry about Mah Babies. Ah, Spring.

Friday, March 07, 2014

Some Friendly Advice

You all are good cooks. I know this because I make your recipes all the time. I use the recipes you pin and recommend. Sometimes I even use your recipes (with permission of course) when writing my column for Go Dairy Free.

So listen to me when I tell you: YOU NEED TO ENTER RECIPE CONTESTS. Like this one.

I have now judged a few recipe contests and I feel confident in telling you that you are qualified to enter. More than qualified, and you just may win. So do it, please, for the sake of the recipe testers if nothing else.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

A contest and a meme: Blogging like it's 2007

I'm enjoying the blogging renaissance that is happening in my feed reader. In that spirit, I present a contest and my answers to a meme.

The Fast and Fresh Dairy-Free Time Trials Recipe Contest

You guys need to enter this. For serious. (Who was the actress who said that at an awards show a few years ago? She ran off with a married co-star? Think Keri Russell or Claire Danes, but not them.)

Enter for fun! For the Olympic spirit! For the $500 gift card!

Nicole tagged me in a meme. Here we go.

1) If Jane had 3 apples and John had 78 nails, how many layers of clothing are you wearing (how is the weather in your neck of the woods?)?

You got this question from my second grader's math homework, didn't you? 

It is cold here. Polar vortex cold. We are running out of places to put the shoveled snow, the entire state is having a road salt shortage, and we have used up all of our snow days--because of temperatures, not snowfall. 

2. What is keeping you sane during these long winter months?
Sherlock. Downton Abbey. Rosamunde Pilcher. Cooking. Reading the Little House series to the kids every night. 

3. If you were on a boat with a box of chocolate and your Mother In Law, who would you throw overboard?

I don't see why I have to throw either overboard. Are we sinking? Can't we just share the chocolates and throw away the box? 

Of course I'd pick the chocolate to throw overboard.

4. What’s in your underwear drawer besides underwear?

My mending pile. Although if I haven't gotten to mending it yet this winter, the chances are looking pretty bleak.

5. Do you trust yourself with sharp objects near your face? (as in, do you pluck your own eyebrows? Do you have any eyebrow horror stories?)
Yes, I trust myself. 

6. I am terrified of dead bodies, spiders, and the dentist. What are you scared of?

Roller coasters. Rodents.

7. Are you wearing nail polish? What color?

Essie Cocktail Bling, toes only. 

Now! All I need are some blog awards to tack on the end of this post and it would be perfect.

Friday, January 31, 2014

How to pass the time during a Polar Vortex

  • Make Candy Cane Syrup
  • Make Cocoa Cubes
  • Learn to make balloon animals
  • Draw cartoons
  • Do MadLibs
  • Have a Winter Birthday Party for your eight- and six-year old babies who were ages 1 and -0 when you began blogging. *sniff*
  • Learn about snow rollers
  • Go photograph snow rollers in your neighborhood
  • Bake lots of comfort food
  • Work ahead on homework during snow days
  • Go downtown to your local movie theater and see Frozen
  • Make five billion rainbow loom bracelets
  • Reread the Little House series
  • Listen to the Frozen soundtrack until your family begs for mercy
  • Daydream about summer

Thursday, January 02, 2014

All is quiet...

...on New Year's Day on January second when the children are in school. I can almost hear myself think! Except for the preschooler and Kindergartner arguing in the other room and U2 and Abba on an endless loop in my head. Other than that, though? Peace.

Happy New Year! How are you? In spite of enjoying the quiet, I am sad Christmastime is over. I am definitely a 12 Days of Christmas Elf. I love the time when all the chaos is over and we are snug in our little house with nowhere to go, sitting in the glow of the Christmas tree lights. I married an Advent Elf, but have passed the 12-Days gene on to our children. Last year Eli's first-grade teacher read his class The After-Christmas Tree. It talks about all the fun things a family did during the Christmas season, how they feel sad when it's over, and an idea the mother has to make things fun for a little bit longer. We loved the book so much that we ordered our own copy and promised to make an After-Christmas Tree this year.

In December I read it to his second-grade class and we made pinecone/peanut butter (no nut allergies)/birdseed ornaments for the kids to take home. You're welcome, parents of Eli's classmates! Please don't tell me how your pinecone went directly into the circular file! And on the 31st, we dragged our un-decorated Christmas tree into the backyard and decorated it with birdseed ornaments. It has since blown over and is covered with about 4 inches of snow. It's the thought that counts, birds and squirrels and voles and other rodents!

And no, the irony is not lost on me. I complain all year about the bird poo left on our swingset by birds attracted to neighborhood birdfeeders. Yet here we are, with a pet cockatiel in the house and a birdseed-covered Christmas tree in the yard. Parenthood makes one do incredible things.

Speaking of incredible things, you all need to enter some of your delicious recipes in the So Delicious Dairy Free Three-Course Recipe Contest. I am not allowed to enter (sad trombone) but you are! There are three $500 grand prizes in gift-card form, and ten runner-up prizes! Get cooking, please! If your recipes teach me how to make a meal of candy canes, clementines, nuts, fancy crackers, and Stonewall Kitchen sauces, even better.