Tuesday, September 08, 2009

In which I am THAT mother

I am a little twitchy this morning. K's school enacted a new peanut-free policy, and decided to inform parents of it two work days before school. So people are not happy, and I am hoping that none of the anti-allergy sentiment affects my daughter. Parents have been so understanding and supportive till now, but a school-wide policy that affects their children directly is making them very upset.

The other part is that some parents have made comments about K's allergy not being life-threatening (which it is) since milk isn't banned. I hope people don't take her allergy less seriously because some foods are banned and some are not. (Children who bring snacks with dairy will sit at a separate table in her classroom, and she will have an assigned seat in the cafeteria.) It's so hard to explain.

Also, we dropped E. off at preschool today, which he was not thrilled about. At all. His teacher was so wonderful and understanding that I started crying. In his classroom. I had to go into the teeny tiny bathroom and collect myself.

Other Mother: "Oh, is he your last child?"
Uh, nope.
Another Mother: "This is a wonderful program."
I know that. Tell him that.
We left him forlornly laying his head on the toy tool bench.

All of this stress is coming out in my dreams. Last night I dreamed that I was a student teacher in K's classroom. Several children were teasing her, so when I graded their math papers, I wrote, "I HATE YOU," on them. When I came home that evening, I told Scott, "I don't think I'm cut out for teaching." To which he replied, "You think?"


  1. The part about the allergy issues was making me feel agitated, so I was kind of skimming the last part and at first thought you ACTUALLY HAD written "I hate you" on papers! AHA HA AH AHA HA!

  2. Oh wow! Well, your dream might be telling. At least you wouldn't really do that. You wouldn't....right?

    I'm sure Katherine and Eli will have a great school year. It's tough to get it going sometimes.

  3. Oh poor E. Did he end up having a good time after you left? I wouldn't think it would matter if it was your first or last child, or middle for that matter. It's still hard to see your little guy sad.

  4. None of my kids have food allergies (right now, anyway, since allergies are developed, I guess that could change) and I don't see what the problem is with a peanut-free policy. I mean, I DO see what the problem is, but it is just a matter of inconvenience, and I don't see why sending in a lunchmeat sandwich and Cheez-Itz isn't just as easy as PB&J and M&Ms. It is meant to protect children, and those parents who are against it should consider what trauma might be done to their own children if they were to witness another child's allergic reaction and possibly death, ESPECIALLY if their child happened to have a PB&J that day. Children think the world revolves around them, and in that child's mind, it could have been his fault.

    Can't all allergies be potentially life-threatening? The attitude toward your daughter's allergy would piss me off, too.

    Your dream was AWESOME!

  5. Mimi--I DON'T KNOW! I pick him up soon. We'll see....

  6. I can see why it would be confusing for the parents when the school removes peanuts, but not milk, given K's allergies. What a hard place to be in. I would want to send a note home with each parent explaining that yes, her allergy is life threatening. Agh. So aggravating!

    Good luck on E's first day! I hope he's all smiles when you go get him!!!

    I hope you sleep better soon, too! Goodness, you've got a lot going on!

  7. First of all, I HATE YOU! Bahahaha! Let me tell you, there's nothing more aggravating than mean kids in a classroom. And I taught seventh grade, so I know of which I speak.

    I can't imagine how frustrating it must be with all of the food allergy misinformation out there. I'm sure some parents misunderstand allergy as "intolerance," which I would think could be pretty dangerous.

  8. I could understand how the parents and hence kids are confused. I would be probably because the school is sending a mixed message. They have students with different allergies, but they are only banning one of the allergens. Really, they need to explain to the parents the reasons for why they ban some things and not others...

  9. Shame on the school for delaying like that!!! I think I'd be annoyed at the school, certainly not at parents or allergy kids. How do you hear that people think K's allergy isn't serious b/c milk isn't banned?

    I think that's really pretty ignorant b/c it's kind of easy to ban peanut contents, but not so much w/ dairy. Also, children are deathly allergic to bees, but schools aren't sending home letters saying they're banning recess so kids won't get stung. Just b/c a letter isn't sent home doesn't mean it's not potentially serious. You'd think they'd know enough to realize the difference?

    haha and let's be thankful you're not a teacher! ;)

  10. Fiona--Yes, all allergies can be life threatening.

    Christina--I know because they said, "Well, K's isn't life threatening, right?" to me at orientation.

  11. I have a child with both peanut and milk allergies and when I tell people my son has allergies and start listing them off, the don't get alarmed until I say peanut. Then their eyes get big and they say "wow, peanut allergies are serious!"

    Actually, his milk allergy is the most severe.

    That always aggravates me. I hope the policy doesn't effect you or your little one!

  12. i'm really sorry you have to deal with these types of attitudes. my son is only one so i'm sure i'll have enough experiences of my own when the time comes! if someone asked me if his allergies were life threatening, i would have answered "i really don't want to have to find that out." that should shut them up!

    btw--i'm starting my own blog in order to get some help and advice from others....feel free to check it out! thanks for all your help!

  13. OH NO. I hope preschool went okay. I know that feeling - leaving your crying child...SO HARD.

    Also, this is strange - I was just wondering about this: our school is nut free, to the extent that granola bars manufactured in a nut facility are not allowed. Fine by me, but what I was wondering is how do you deal with a non-dairy free school? Did you have to teach K to wash her hands a lot? To avoid the lunch table? What if someone brings a dairy snack and it comes into contact with her snack? As someone who does not have kids with life-threatening allergies, I was wondering how you deal with an environment in which there is dairy? I know K is older now, but what did you do when she was little?

  14. Oh man! Drives me crazy how peanuts get all the attention and yes that leads others to believe milk (or any other food) can't be life threatening. I'm constantly explaining that past reactions do NOT predict future ones. I should just record that speech. I also find people are more accommodating and understanding when you ASK for help instead of force it on them.

    Good luck with all of that. And for I hope he made it through preschool today.

    Kayla starts Kindergarten tomorrow with lunch there. Yikes. Alysa starts preschool too. Fun times. :)

  15. Oh, sorry, just reread that and saw that K is at a different snack table. I guess that answers my question.

  16. If I were you I wouldn't be writing "I hate you." I'll be screaming it and kicking and fussing. Totally understand your fears and worries and upset emotions. It sucks that there are so many insensitive and ignorant people around.
    But I'm sure K is a smart cookie and she'll be fine taking care of herself. At least the school has you to speak up for children with such allergies! Your children will be proud to have a mom like you!

  17. I just read your dream to my husband. We both got a kick out that. I hope your stress is easing up. I imagine if you are like me, you breathe a sigh of relief on Friday and take a deep breath on Monday morning.