Bibliotherapy

This is supposed to be a book review for Go Dairy Free, but I think it turned into a bizarre trip through my psyche. Enjoy!

First, the review in as positive a way as I could write it, ie. the part Alisa might actually want to publish:

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I received a copy of Hold the Cheese Please!: A Story for Children About Lactose Intolerance the other day. It was written by Dr. Frank J. Sileo, a psychologist who is lactose intolerant. The accompanying press release says that this book is "the first and only book written for children about lactose intolerance." Sileo's previous children's book, Toilet Paper Flowers, is "the first illustrated book for children with Crohn's disease."

Hold the Cheese Please! tells the story of a lactose intolerant child named Danny who is teased by a classmate and then eats dairy to prove he can. He becomes ill. Then he and the school nurse teach his class about being lactose intolerant.

The press release states that this book is for children ages 6-12, but I'm not sure about that. I think some of it might be a bit over the heads of six-year olds, and I think the way Danny handles the bully in his class might not work for older children. Also, I don't think the way Danny speaks is true to life. Still, I am glad to see that there is now a book available about lactose intolerance. I think this book will be most effective for children who are lactose intolerant, rather than for their classmates.

In the notes to parents, Sileo makes the distinction between lactose intolerance and dairy allergies. I wish he had done the same in the text of the book. When the nurse is explaining lactose intolerance to the class, she says, "You cannot catch it from someone and people do not die from it." That would be the perfect place to insert a sentence about dairy allergies, which people often confuse with lactose intolerance, because people can and do die from it.

Hold the Cheese Please! is published by Health Press.



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OK, so I tried to be glass half full about this book as much as I could, especially because it is apparently the ONLY book for children about lactose intolerance. I am glad that there is now a book for LI children. I am sorry that it is poorly written. However, I know my dairy-allergic daughter enjoys reading books about dairy allergies, even when her father and I find them to be a little heavy on the medical side of things.

To me, the text of No Cheese seems very fake and forced. Observe the text of the first page:
"Hi. My name is Danny. I love to play sports, especially baseball. My team won the championship last season. My best buddy is Jimmy. We do a lot of fun things together. One thing that I would really like to tell you about is my condition called lactose intolerance. You may be thinking, 'What's that?' Maybe you have it too? Let me tell you about lactose intolerance and my story."

What child talks like that? 'Danny' and 'Jimmy'? Is this 1955? I liked reading books about girls with glasses who liked to write when I was little. I understand the theory of bibliotherapy. I guess I just wish there were more and better choices out there than what currently exists. Perhaps a series about a main character who just happens to have an allergy or intolerance, where it is just a part of his or her life. And yet, much like when my children help clean the house, I hesitate to criticize because at least someone tried, right?

The bully in the story steals Danny's soy milk and calls him "soy boy." Later on, Danny says to the bully, "'I accept your apology Alex. [sic] I just wish you weren't so mean to everyone. Just like I have to take care of my lactose intolerance, you have to stop being so mean to other people,' I said.
Alex nodded and walked away."

In real life, would that not earn Danny a punch in the face?

I know there are bullies in school. I know that children get made fun of for their differences. I just don't know if this is the best way to tell them how to handle it.

Also, while I understand that LI is a real medical concern, you CAN'T die from it, and kids can be easily confused. My daughter, Katherine, also has a lactose intolerant girl in her class who describes herself as "allergic" yet occasionally eats dairy. My biggest fear is that people won't take K.'s allergy seriously because this other girl has the 'same thing' yet can eat dairy, so why can't Katherine? I cannot tell you the number of times she has been offered lactose-free food because people think it is safe. Lactose intolerance and dairy allergy are NOT the same thing. I really think this book should have devoted at least a sentence or two to that very important distinction, especially since Sileo saw fit to put that information in the notes to parents.

We live in a small town where many of Katherine's classmates have known her since preschool. They all know about and understand her allergy and don't think twice about it. On the field trip last week, all of the class took extra special care of K. and her peanut-allergic friend, N. One of her friends said "Ew," about the celery sticks in K's lunch once, but no one has ever teased her or N. about their allergies or their allergen-free foods.

Do you have stories about your kids being teased for their allergies or lactose intolerance? Do you think reading a book like this one to their classes would help? If your children don't have allergies or intolerances, does reading about them help them understand those who do?

Do we praise these books for existing or criticize them for being poorly written? Or both? I really don't know. What do you think?

Beating a Dead Horse to Death

This was going to be a post about another near-miss food allergy experience Katherine had last night and she's fine but I'm angry and when are people going to understand and I realize that eternal vigilance is the price of food allergies but what can I do so that this doesn't keep happening at a church we've attended for five years and blah blah blah allergycakes.

Are you as tired of this as I am?

So. What I am going to say instead is "Thank You" to all of you. Thank you for reading and being supportive. Because of you, I did not just vent on my blog and leave it at that. I called the director this morning (a very hard thing for me to do) and told her how upset I was, and I will do the same thing at a meeting next week. Otherwise nothing will change.

Thanks for helping me find my voice.

Food-Allergic American Girl

Yesterday Katherine and I, along with Helen, Gramma, and twelve of our neighbors, went to an American Girl Fashion Show held as a fundraiser for the Ireland Cancer Center in Cleveland, OH. All of the girls wore dresses that matched their dolls' dresses--in color, at least. We don't have the cash to spring for "real" AG dresses for our girls. Lunch was served during the fashion show, and Katherine was provided with a dairy-free meal. The girls had a lovely time being together at such a fancy, grownupish event, and the moms and grandmas had fun, too.

Are you sensing a "But..." coming? Good for you!

When we received our reservation confirmation letter for our not inexpensive tickets (I know, I know--it's for charity!), the letter said, "Lunch of grilled breast of chicken and vegetables over pasta for adults and fingertip sandwiches and potato chips for children will be served. If there are any major allergies in your party that need accommodation, please contact us as soon as possible so that we may work with Executive Caterers in Landerhaven."

Wow! I thought, as I dialed the provided phone number. How great that they're thinking about this! I thought, as I left a message on voicemail. What the heck? I thought, as I waited a week for a phone call.

Then the call came from a volunteer. "We ask that you call the caterer directly so that there is no mix-up in the passing of information," she said.
"That's great! I really appreciate that! What is the caterer's number?"
"Oh, I don't have that. You'll have to look it up yourself."
........?
"Ma'am, I live two hours away in another state. Could you please look it up and call me back?" "Well, I wouldn't know where to look."
"Fine. But you're going to need that information for other parents who might call."

Using my trusty friends, The Internets, I found the caterer's number and spoke to a woman there. We decided that it was easier to order Katherine a plain chicken breast, with sides of plain pasta and vegetables then to try to figure out safe breads and fillings for the finger sandwiches. I also requested juice in place of the milk the other girls would have. No dessert was mentioned in the menu, so I didn't think to ask about it. I told the caterer that the people holding the fundraiser didn't have the caterer's number to give out and that she might want to call them.

I packed a PB & J sandwich and dessert for K., just in case, and off we went. She was served a plate of chicken and pasta with a buttery-looking sauce identical to the adults, so I sent it back to the kitchen to make sure it was safe. It was made with olive oil, so yes. I also requested a bag of potato chips for her so she could be like her friends. No one had gotten the message about the juice, so I requested a glass, along with a fancy straw like the other girls had with their milk.
The dessert was chocolate mousse, so I just pulled out the cookies I brought for Katherine. I wish I had asked about sorbet or something on the phone, though. Or that the woman I spoke with had mentioned dessert.

In summary, Executive Caterers did provide safe food for my daughter, and the servers were very pleasant and helpful. The people planning the American Girl event need to get their act together, especially since they've been doing this event for a dozen years. Don't write about accommodating allergies in your letter if you don't even have the caterer's phone number! And while I am always thankful when people are accommodating, I also think that is is my daughter's right to have safe food, especially when we have paid a good bit of money and the event planners bring up the subject of food allergies first!


Sidebar complaints, RE: treatment of mothers with infants, centerpieces
One of my friends and I brought our babies along, a fact we stated very clearly on our registration forms. No additional information was sent to us, so we assumed it was fine. We brought small strollers for the babies, but upon arriving were told that there was no room in the ballroom for them. Yet many of the little girls had full-size umbrella strollers for their dolls that they were allowed to bring in. (Did I just go there? Oh yes I did.) So my friend and I held our babies while eating and feeding them. It was fine, but we were back in a corner where there was plenty of room, and why didn't someone contact us and explain what the situation would be beforehand?

The centerpieces were made of plastic wands with paper stars on top. The same kind of wands were used in the grand finale, which was made up of the models and some girls from the audience. Those girls all got to keep the wands, but we were told to leave the wands on our tables for the second show. Now, I could care less about this, but it bothered our girls, and you know the girls at the second show were going to be allowed to take those wands home. The sponsors couldn't shell out ten more dollars to get enough wands for both shows? Please.

Sigh. I know, I know--it's for charity!

Take a Letter

THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT FAIRLY SOON.

Ka-blam!!!