For starters, it would not:
- feature an animal as the main character ("Kitty the Cat wasn't like other cats. Her fur made her sneeze. Kerchew!")
- be written in the style of a 1950s informational filmstrip. ("Susie wished she could eat peanuts at the baseball game like her friends. No, no, Susie. Mustn't touch the dirty, peanutty seats!")
- teach children that bullies can be reasoned with. ("Bob and I shook hands and agreed we would not use not nice words with each other anymore."
- be overly clinical and therefore embarrassing. ("If I eat dairy, I projectile vomit. Projectile vomiting is when your upchuck goes aaaallll the way across the room and lands on the floor!")
- be an appropriate read for both allergic/intolerant children and those who are not.
- What else? Talk amongst yourselves.