I am happy to provide dairy-free snacks and meals for my daughter at school, playdates, parties, and any other social events for the rest of her life.
I do not expect You, Parent of Katherine's Classmate, to provide a dairy-free snack for your child's school birthday party. This is why we keep dairy-free cupcakes in the school freezer.
If You would like to provide a dairy-free snack, as the teacher has been encouraging people to do, I will be happy to give You a list of easy options with a small margin of error: Popsicles, Jello, fruit snacks, dairy-free cake mix You can find at the local grocery.
If You bring a snack and assure me You purchased all of the ingredients I recommended, and I let Katherine eat it, and she has a mild allergic reaction, this is MY FAULT. I should never cave under guilt or social pressure if my gut is telling me not to let Katherine eat something. I do not hold You responsible. However, if You are standing there watching her face break out in hives and her eyes swell shut while I panic, I would really appreciate an "I'm sorry." Not because it is your fault but because this is one of those niceties that greases the wheels of society. I know this might not make sense to You, but please try it. We are going to be seeing a lot of each other the next 13 years, and it would really help me out.
If You show up with cake baked from a mix I have never purchased, or a homemade something about which I cannot verify the ingredients, I will not let my daughter eat it. If You see this as rude, I'm sorry. (You see what I did there? Even though I'm really not sorry?)
THIS DOES NOT MEAN:
I don't appreciate Your efforts.
I wanted You to go to a lot of trouble and expense for nothing.
I think it's funny to send people to the natural foods store.
I will let Katherine try it, just to see.