Yeaahh....

No baby yet.

Time to enjoy some online retail therapy where no one looks at me and where I do not run into a woman in the lotion aisle who says, "I just can never find a lotion that works!" before opening various lotion containers to sniff and spread all over her hands and arms. In the store.

Let's Get This Party Started

I don't have to be induced! I get to go into labor on my own! I... have no idea if I'll actually realize when I'm in labor! I've never done this before!

Brief Birthing History, TMI Edition (Look away, Dad.)

Baby #1: Admitted to hospital on Thursday evening, released Friday evening after a failed induction. (Note to medical personnel - TELL PREGNANT WOMEN INDUCTIONS MAY NOT WORK.) Went home and ate my weight in fried chicken livers while sobbing hysterically. Readmitted to hospital on following Tuesday at lunchtime. Water broke early Wednesday afternoon as doctor was filling out release forms to send me home again. When I told him my water had broken, he said, "Oh, Ok. (Pause.) It's going to be a long day." Baby born first thing Thursday morning, at 42 1/2 weeks. Cervidil and Pitocin were used liberally both times. Poor, poor baby was born with the help of a vacuum extractor.

Baby #2: Admitted to hospital Wednesday evening. Induction started without drugs. Reached 5 centimeters by morning but still wasn't in labor, so it was time for Pitocin. (Bleah.) Baby born early Thursday afternoon at 40 weeks.

So, 36 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing, then 18 hours of labor, 1 1/2 hours of pushing. Do I hear 9 hours of labor and 45 minutes of pushing for #3? Hey, I can dream.

I had an appointment yesterday, and I have reached two whole centimeters all by my ownself, which has never, ever happened before. Also, this little girl does not appear to be a 9- or 10-pounder like her siblings, so there is time to wait things out.

But enough of this waiting stuff. I want to hear all of your voodoo tips to move things along. GO!

To the Lady in the Megamart

Hello,

I don't know if you remember me, but I remember you. We met only once, in the summer of 2001. I was grocery shopping after work, having brought my husband along for company and protection. You see, I was very, very pregnant with my first child, and the last few times I'd been shopping I left the store in tears after one too many unwanted comments/stomach fondlings. (And it was almost always a retirement-age man touching my belly. What is with that? Not that I'd expect you to know.)

Anyway, we saw each other several times weaving in and out of the grocery aisles, the pharmacy aisles, and I caught you looking at me each time we met. I hid behind my husband and whispered, "That woman keeps looking at me!" Inevitably, we met in the toiletry section while my husband was somewhere else. You reached out to touch my arm. As I braced myself for a comment I was sure I didn't want to hear, you said, "Excuse me. I just wanted to tell you how lovely you look in that shirt. I'm sorry I've been watching you all through the store, but it is just such a flattering color on you."

Thank you.

I think of you often. When I am pregnant and besieged by unthinking comments, yes, but especially when I catch myself looking at a pregnant woman. I remember your kind words, and I try to pass them on.

Holler 'Nuff!

Remember the touching Christmas scene in Laura Ingalls Wilder's Farmer Boy where Almanzo and his snotty cousin Frank were pounding the stuffing out of each other in the snow? And Almanzo wouldn't give up till Frank hollered, "'Nuff?" Well, I'm hollering "'nuff." I am giving in to this pregnancy. I am tired! I take naps when I should be working while I let the children watch crappy cartoons! I sent out some bills without stamps and some bills without checks the other day! I made Scott leave work early for K's Christmas dance recital this past Tuesday, and it's this coming Tuesday! I fed the kids pizza for lunch and dinner yesterday! (Scott, teasing, "Yeah, Mommy doesn't care anymore.")

To keep from becoming a total Mama Scrooge during this Christmas season, here are some of the links to fun and easy Christmas crafts I'm planning to use to entertain the children. While I nap.

Family Fun Christmas Printables
Wondertime Holiday Links
Nativity Paper Dolls (From Beck)
Jan Brett (From Soulemama)

Anecdotal Evidence

EDITED.

Thank you so much for all of your birth stories! I love a good baby story. Here's a new one!

Baby Peanut is weighing in at 4 lbs 10 oz here in week 32/33. We'll be keeping an eye on her size, and I am not allowed to travel during the holidays, as I suspected.

Also, if you are, say, 22 months old and want to freak out your mother, wake up from your nap with your inner ear bleeding. Ear infections are wicked gross, and mommy's facial expressions are so funny! You will have to go to the doctor and get ear drops, though.