Anatomy of a midlife crisis

• Stop continuously gestating and nursing for the first time since 2005.
• Get some uninterrupted sleep.
• Read books and blogs on decluttering and selling items to earn money.
• Clean childrens' rooms, packing up clothing for children #3 and #4.
• Realize that hall closet is full of 10 years of hand-me-downs.
• Decide to tackle hall closet.
• Attempt to make rational decisions about outgrown baby and toddler clothes.
• Cry while sorting clothing.
• Drive around with baby clothes in the van for a week.
• Recall every single time a mother with older children tells you how much she misses this time.
• Be terrified that this actually IS the best time in life and it's all downhill from here.
• Realize that before long you will be blue-haired widow in front pew at church. [Husband: "Wait--I'm dead in this scenario?  That is depressing."]
• Have breakdown at bible study.
• Have friends bring you a CDP the next day that includes a framed photo of your children with a beautiful quote.
• Cry, causing wisea** friends to say, "Yeah, we just wanted to make you cry again,"  to make you laugh.
• Walk around fully aware of EVERY MOMENT like old ladies in the grocery store always tell you to be for about a week.  
• Cry over every thing--even not cute things--your children do.
• Realize that people CANNOT LIVE like this without going insane.  
• Want to be back in fuzzy haze of day-to-day routine and survival.
• Hate raw feeling of every emotion being exposed and being hyper-aware that children are growing up and away from you.
• Listen to mother's wise words about how, even if you could, keeping children in their current states isn't fair to them and doesn't let them develop into their full selves.
• Let mother point out good relationship people can have with adult children *cough*you are calling your mother for help right now at the age of thirty-seven*cough*.
• Ride out the feelings for another week.
• Have husband ask you if you want more children.
• Answer that what you really want is to go back in time to when your kids were babies and relive things without being so tired and hormonal.  Husband: "...Wow."
• Work on building even better relationships with these kiddos right here! instead of being sad about the babies being gone.
• Panic about what you are going to be when you grow up.
• Decide that can wait for another day.
• Go to funeral of beloved relative.
• Have beloved great-aunt talk to you about how it's hard to be one of the ones left behind.
• Have minor panic attack.
• Realize you are not in control of what happens and can only do the best you can.
• Resolve to exercise more.