Please bring the following to Kindergarten registration:
- Completed Student Health History form
- Proof of dental examination and
- Proof of physical examination because we don't believe the Student Health History form you filled out, and why don't you throw in a
- Record of immunizations for good measure
- State-issued birth certificate, not that cutesy hospital thing with the footprints that is clearly a fake
- TWO proofs of residency, such as two utility bills, even though all utilities are paid to the city in one bill; your mortgage, even though you don't want to bring it because it's none of our business; phone bill, but not a wireless bill, even though many people no longer have land lines; TV bill, but it has to be cable, not dish; oh, and your driver's license doesn't count.
- DNA samples from you, your spouse, and child
- Knife to cut your finger to sign paperwork in blood
- Flask to get through the day
We look forward to meeting you and your child. Except if you are late. Then you're out of luck.
The Kindergarten Team