Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Kindergarten registration packet

Dear Parents:

Please bring the following to Kindergarten registration:
  • Completed Student Health History form
  • Proof of dental examination and
  • Proof of physical examination because we don't believe the Student Health History form you filled out, and why don't you throw in a
  • Record of immunizations for good measure
  • State-issued birth certificate, not that cutesy hospital thing with the footprints that is clearly a fake
  • TWO proofs of residency, such as two utility bills, even though all utilities are paid to the city in one bill; your mortgage, even though you don't want to bring it because it's none of our business; phone bill, but not a wireless bill, even though many people no longer have land lines; TV bill, but it has to be cable, not dish; oh, and your driver's license doesn't count.
  • DNA samples from you, your spouse, and child
  • Knife to cut your finger to sign paperwork in blood
  • Flask to get through the day
We look forward to meeting you and your child. Except if you are late. Then you're out of luck.


The Kindergarten Team


  1. HAHAHAHA!! Eli's not going to Kindergarten in the fall already, is he?? WOW!

    I'm glad to have a few years before we go through that again. And you would think that the second year in a row (Lucy) would have been easier....but it wasn't.

  2. Oh my gosh how frustrating! You also make it sound funny too :)

    Good luck with all of that craziness!

  3. OMG YES, OURS IS THE SAME. And they won't accept a copy of the birth certificate: we have to bring the ACTUAL ONE to the ACTUAL SCHOOL, which, SURELY that is not from ACTUAL NECESSITY.

    AND, ours says the physical MUST be within a year and it MUST be the 5-year exam. But when I registered the twins, it was (as surely must be the case with MANY kindergarten registrations?) BEFORE their 5-year check-up, because they were NOT YET FIVE. So then they said, "Well, then you have to bring in their 4-year exam." BUT IT SAID ON THE FORM THAT I COULD NOT DO THAT. AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE.

    When I register Henry, I think I'll bring the phone book as one of our proofs of residency.

  4. haha Sadly, it's a blurry line as to where I think it stopped being truth and started being sarcasm. Stuff is getting so out of hands today for verification. When I moved here I had to have J co-sign a FREE checking account on my behalf b/c they wouldn't let me open it on my own. I didn't have 2 utility bills in my name. So yes, at 23 I needed assistance to open a free checking account. Ugh. so stupid b/c how many renters or wife's don't have utility bills in their name? A LOT.

    Good luck and I hope you bring the flask! ;)

  5. Wow, is your school district run by Nazis? ;)

    I'm a little worried, because I was told to bring my son's birth certificate and his immunization record to sign him up for Kindergarten. Now it doesn't seem like ENOUGH.

  6. You forgot the eyeball scan!

  7. Please stop! Now I'm freaking out!
    LOL Good luck with all that.

  8. You know what is a little daunting as well - being one of the parent volunteers there to sign up the new kindergarten children and having to tell people what they forgot...

    Don't shoot the messenger! :-)

    Good luck!

  9. Wow, that is a bit excessive. We did sign up last week for kindergarten. I filled out a form with his name, birthdate, address, brought immunization form and birth certificate, and they took a copy of my licence for residency. That was it. And we just took that too the school secretary, so it was quick and easy. I'm hoping the screening next week is easy too. We don't have to bring anything, and it's only supposed to last an hour. I'm with Mimi, now I feel like we don't do enough. ;)