Jill left some questions for me to answer, and I've decided to answer them in a post. (Hope that's Ok, Jill!)
"I wondered about your daughter taking her dairy-free cupcakes to things. How does she like that? Is she ok with it? Does it go over ok with other kids and stuff? Do you have several in the freezer and pull them out for these occasions? Are they already decorated in the freezer?
Sorry for all the questions, but my daughter is allergic to dairy, eggs and soy. So, I have been letting her take a piece of candy instead of eating the cake (she doesn't normally get candy, so she has been fine with it so far). Just wondering about making cupcakes for her to take to birthday parties and such."
When Katherine was younger (2-3) I was more likely to pack fruit snacks or a granola bar for her dessert if we went somewhere. She didn't really notice what the grownups were eating. But that was before school, friends, birthday parties, etc. Now that she's older, she prefers to match her friends whenever possible, but she understands if what she brings isn't exactly the same. Katherine's friends and classmates are very accepting and understanding as well.
I keep cookies, cupcakes, Tofutti frozen dessert, and Tofutti Cuties in the freezer. The cookies are usually unfrosted sugar cookies and chocolate chip. The cupcakes are usually yellow cake mix with chocolate frosting. After baking the cupcakes and letting them cool, I peel back one side of the cupcake wrapper, slice the cupcake almost in half horizontally (as you would a hamburger bun) , and spread frosting in the middle. I then rewrap the cupcake and place it in a freezer bag with several others. I usually send one Tofutti Cutie sandwich and one cupcake with Katherine when she attends a birthday party. More information on what I send to school and other locations is here.
Since we are dealing with just one allergen, our situation is a bit different than yours, Jill, and I know that not all of the foods I'm writing about are safe for your daughter. (Maybe you could give her sorbet or Italian ice for a frozen treat?) But I hope this helps a little bit!